I’ve been having a tough time at my job.
No one tells you that the working world sucks, that’s probably because they don’t want to remember that it does and can’t remember what it was like when they weren’t in this sucky world that has just become their only world.
I have recently started accepted that work is work, and that’s just how things are. Now I come home leaving work at work, well at least most nights. And I spend my few hours before bed doing things that I enjoy instead of feeling tired and sorry for myself. It’s hard working 10 hours a day. I have little free time during the week to do what I like to. This has led me to truly understand the meaning of Friday, and why bars are so crowed Friday nights, and why there is such a long line at the liquor store.
But what I’ve realized is that I don’t just hate working, I hate my job. Probably in a similar way that everyone else hates working, they aren’t passionate or driven by there work at all.
I think that organizing poor disempowered black people is an honorable necessary job. The work Action Untied is doing is so necessary for these communities, it makes these communities communities instead of trash piles, drug corners, and falling apart houses. These are all really important problems that need to be dealt with and organizing the communities is the best way. The problem is that I feel little motivation to do this.
The reason is because my organizing experience spoiled me. I used to organize around sweatshops, I was the leader of a local USAS chapter, I was involved in USAS national leadership. I did what I wanted. I organized people who wanted to be organized. I had fun I had control.
What I’m doing now is trying to get poor disempowered black people to pay me $10 dollars a month because there is an abandoned building next door that random people frequent. This just isn’t what I want to do.
I have been thinking about what I wanna do, but I’ll leave that a cliff hanger until the next blog post. Don’t worry it’s exciting and well worth the wait.