Struggle / House

I’ve been in a struggle in life recently. Me vs the world. I’ve started a bunch of blog posts about it but have until now been unable to finish them. The theme of them all is that I’m unhappy of who I am currently. I don’t do fun and interesting things anymore, I’m not an up beat exciting person who is politically active in any amount.

Instead I am a shadow of who I was before, cold and pissed at the world for beating me down. My shell of interesting exists and I am positive that is who I am, but I am simply not interesting at the current moment. A lot is bringing me down including my coworkers, my lack of many friendships in philly and my past relationship which was very hard on my especially at the end.

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I enjoy where I am living very much. My roommates are quite cool, the owner of the house Renae, is the perfect amount of friendly, her boyfriend Mark is a little more awkward, but he has had a lot of cool experiences in his life thus far, including living without a job for 2 years in a house without running water.

The Neighborhood seemed sketchy to me at first, but I’m quickly realizing its a pretty safe area. We are a few blocks beyond where more students live, so the area is mostly families. There are a few students, it’s always a bit of a shock for me to see a white person walking down my block. I have noticed they always make sure to say hi to me (this must be what people of color experience all the time).

The other people are friendly too. A bunch of them always say hi to me, one of them even calls me her baby. Apparently she also calls me Brad Pitt to my roommates. The adjacent neighbors are quite friendly, as well as a lot of the other ones nearby. We are a pretty poor area, but we are safe and I think our poorness reduces the amount of petty theft in the University City area.

This isn’t the ideal area I wanted to live (I wish there were trees). But the area is nice and I feel as though I live in a neighborhood. I’m glad to currently be living here, not sure where the future will take me; but for now I’m content where I live.

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