This isn’t the biggest or most important solstice, but this year was the solemn solstice. Due to a bit of poor planning and overlapping plans I had to voyage out on this solstice alone. I also cheated and went to a party. After walking all night, tired and exhausted, Majesty gave me my final burst of energy to help me pull through and make it until dawn.
After coming home from work I hurriedly found my candle stash and spread them all over the house and kitchen. I turned out the lights in the kitchen and one of the people visiting asked me when I started celebrating and why. I realized this was my sixth solstice. I started longing for a real holiday (disillusioned by Christmas), I tried festivus for two years and then I found the solstice. It stuck with me as I deep down knew I was and needed a good solid spiritual holiday.
After a candlelit shower I went to a party with my coworkers at the bike shop. I knew I was violating the rules (the house was going to have all the lights on) but I hadn’t a choice. I needed to go to the party and it wouldn’t be long before my roomies went to sleep. The party was a good time – I was the last to leave and went on my voyage home around 2 am.
After a break in my room looking at stuff on my computer and getting somewhat close to sleeping I knew I had to walk. I walked my normal dumpster route and then I made up for my cheating by walking into the cemetery and trying to find the holly bush I had found weeks before. Like many of the spiritual voyage I go on around the solstice I didn’t achieve the tangible goal and returned empty handed. I did achieve the more important goal of going on the quest and cleansing myself of my wrongs and by making it through the night without sleeping (something I’ve only done one or two times).
I made it home as dawn occurred and remembered why I enjoyed winter solstice so much. As the sun rises all of your tired and discomfort fades away and leaves you feeling refreshed and happy. My final walk home also had a steady rain to help in the act of cleansing myself of the past year and preparing me for the next year. I took 3 deep breathes, one for the painful beginning of last year, one for the awakening of last year and one for this next year.
Along this winter solstice I was ecstatic to be able to also connect with people I haven’t seen much but still love deeply. I had the pleasure of talking to Majesty the night of and just before dawn and received a call and fbook message from two roomies I had in Philadelphia and a few texts from Guaca. And finally I talked to Intern the following morning and heard about how he is also living the dream out in Colorado and is celebrating the solstice tonight.
I feel so lucky to have so many amazing people in my life doing and living such amazing live. Know is a better time than any to share with all of you my solstice card and associated text.
Last solstice good friends and I waited for the world to end on the edge of the Hudson river. It rained and stormed as if the world was going to end, but all that happened was a slow and steady sunrise, like every year before.
The new bakatun began, but it took me many months to break free of old habits and crutches that were holding me back. Now finally free – free as ever, I am ready to embrace this solstice and new sun with open arms excited for everything this world has to offer me.
I hope you had a good year so far and if not have a great year this coming year.