For a few weeks I couldn’t write enough blog posts, post after post was being written waiting for the time it would be published. Then I started art and became entranced with it and uninspired to write. That’s why this post will be about some of my art projects.
The first one to follow up my lavender black hole came when I didn’t have my drawing pad, all I had was 3 hole punched paper. I had been feeling a compulsion for days and I was suddenly overtaken. The song that inspired me was The Neighbors by St. Vincent. I was first taken by the lyrics, “How can Monday be alright, Then on Tuesday lose my mind?” But so many of the other lyrics are so great to. Such as “What would your mother think, What would your father do, What would the neighbors think? If they only knew”
After having this one up for a week one of my roommates kept asking me if it was Tuesday, and if I was going crazy. These comments frustrated me because the point of my art started to be to take it seriously and take my thoughts seriously not as think of myself as crazy. When she was in my room I ripped off every one accept a few and changed it to “Then on Tuesday they knew” and one that says “Because I told them.” This is largely in reference to something I told many of my good friends after first having the thought. I was feeling really spaced out and had a very strong desire to cut my wrists (knowing it would ground me in the moment). I talked to a friend who just moved to germany first, then I proceeded to let many friends know about this feeling. I felt safe telling people and safer having people know. I also was made to feel less crazy and since now my friends knew they could better support me. I am again humbled by my friends and credit my support network for helping me validate how I feel and remind me that my thoughts and experiences are by no means crazy but actually quite normal.
The first piece of art on my door quite honestly made me feel like a crazy person. It wasn’t as refined looking and it was also conveying a message that I was “loosing my mind.” So I began struggling with what I just talked about above, not feeling crazy. This struggle most clearly comes out in my next piece from the “This is Art” series called “207/213 +7.” Prior to this piece my coworker explained to me a Venn Diagram of the line between crazy and artist, she specifically mentions Thomas Kincaid I balanced him out with Syd Barrett.
To make myself feel less crazy and more artistic I bought some sketch paper and started the first of my “This is Art” series. This series is paper that has “This is art.” written on them anywhere from 207 to 365 times. My first one was done at my friend Spaced’s house. She was doing work and I had figured this might happen so I brought over paper. Previous to the art I had run out of nutrients and shut down. She fed me and then got to her work. I put on St. Vincent and got to my work. I switched it up listening to her first album, Marry Me, instead of my recent staple, Actor.
The combination of regaining mental control post-very-hungry and this album these thrust me into a somewhat disassociated state that I’ve done much of my art in. I was no longer present in the room but in the art. I argued with myself constantly through this piece drawing a “fine line” that was quite thick and specify where the “art” was in this piece. I also constantly argued with myself whether this was art or not. I have had great conflict with my art not sure if I believed I was crazy or I was making art. The term art didn’t feel like it fit my work but the arguing with myself continually throughout this piece helped lay the ground work to let me consider my work art, period.
After getting half way through the page and struggling the entire time I got frustrated and laid down. I ended up falling asleep and woke up quite disoriented, and promptly went back to sleep (in a bed this time, not the floor).
To finish this piece off I laid it on the ground in my floor not quite frustrated enough to crumble it up. One of our cats laid on it helping me vicariously take out the frustration I still have with this first piece. (Hint if you click on the image and then on the new page right click and click “View Image” the image will become larger)
My next bunch of This is Art was simply writing “This is art.” You can see them below.
My next piece of art came to me on a whim and I think I’m going to remake it with one tweak (glitter). Either-way this was a canvas that I originally was just painting a lavender base over since it is a used canvas. Once I painted the lavender base and it dried I decided to paint a black stripe over it, a repeat of the “fine line” between crazy and artist. I then hung up the piece over my lavender black hole and proceeded to take pictures of it drying. My black paint has a puncture in the container so it’s very runny and I photographed it 7 times as it dried. adding for a cool effect.
And finally some three dimensional pieces that I have been working on regarding dreams. This are long in the making with the idea first coming into my head November 2009. This is the iconic Dream Crusher. The first picture is one made in 2009 and the following pictures are recent schematics for making a my three-dimensional Dream Crusher which you can see the start of one. This Dream Crushers will both be operated manually and not by motor. The plans show schematics for the small one that is part way done and also a larger one that would have a full plexiglas side. This is for demonstration purposes only. Ideally any fully functional one would have no or limited plexiglas as this is obviously a weak spot in the design.